...

i just want to settle my feelings, weather you agree with me or not.

i dont know what had happened (thats the truth) but i saw you guys crying in the rain, being so stubborn, didnt want to get shelter.. i didnt felt angry bcos you were very sad and vex. so i didnt disturb.. whats bloody wrong with that? i didnt show you guys my temper or what, i tried to encourage you guys, cheered you up, you all didnt bother anyway..

what does it meant by i did not encourage you?
what does it meant by i judged peopple?
what does it meant by being alone?

alright, i admit i really didnt know the WHOLE story, only a part which lixuan and charmaine told me. i dont know why you were so sad when we went to the playground. you cant blame me for that, bcos first of all, you guys didnt tell me? so what for being disappointed in me? i didnt know, you all didnt want to tell me, i tried to help, but to no avail.

last time, i was judging some people, i was wrong and i apologised.
then after that, i tried to changed my temper and attitude, bcos i knew i was wrong.
so now?
is all these worth it? i dont know? bcos to me, you guys are always my loved ones. you said you are disappointed in me, said i didnt encouraged you, said i was judging people..

its not always easy to say one 'sorry' that meant from the bottom of my heart. i really loved you guys, cared for you guys, tried to share our sorrows.. hugged each other when we are sad.. i really love those moments. but now.. im tired of all the disappointment (i've caused).

im sorry for the past. and the recent incident for being a total EXTRA person in that, i should have gone home and slept. i know the total big jerk and the cause for all these is ME.

but just to let you guys know, though i loved you, cared for you. no matter what disappointment, i threw it away.. but now, it really hurts bcos everybody is pointing at me. its hard to explain, and i wont. as you said, the Lord will judge, the judging day will come, i may just cross the road and die. but you wont, so dont worry.

so from now onwards, to not prevent any more misunderstandings, i'll not care about anything, nor ask you guys any matter. i hope this jinx will leave you guys. have a happy time together, shopping, doing homework and stuff :)

i'll not put the tagboard there bcos it will just hurt me more if you guys tag..